Last Christmas season, I knew exactly what I was going to do for Christmas portrait sessions. I had a vision months in advance and ultimately it was a wonderful success.
This year was much different. I was unsure. I kept questioning what to do. My ideas are endless but implementing them is the work. I don’t have a studio and wanted something that I knew would require a studio space. The investment of the backdrops, props and additional items was well over $1,000. It was a good amount to put into a project and not have a space to work in. I kept praying about it. It consumed my thoughts as I tried to figure out how I was going to pull this off. What if I purchased all this stuff and couldn’t use it? That would be awful.
As I drove around each day, every space I saw was a potential space. I took down phone numbers and addresses of retail space, I found so many options. I offered to do them in our own community center and provide a portion of the proceeds to toys for tots. I wrote letters to the Board of Directors that went unanswered. Emails that I sent to my professional connections, who normally reply within hours, went unanswered. I pressed and finally got a no weeks later. Everything I tried came up as a dead end. The resistance felt relentless.
I remember saying to God one day. “God, I refuse to sit on my couch and do nothing, so I need you to answer me please. Tell me what to do. I’m trying here.” He didn’t answer me either.
All I could do was take what I know in my heart to be true and that is to press through the pressure. I absolutely refuse to sit on my ‘you know what’ twiddling my thumbs and give into defeat. In fact, the more resistance I came up against, the more determined I was to succeed.
I knew I needed to create some sample images and quickly. I was running out of time. These things have to be completed weeks, to months, in advance. When my husband came home from work that evening, I said, “Hey Babe. I’m just going to set my stuff up in the living room really quick one day and shoot some photos, okay?” I tried to say it in a tone that it was no big deal. I did mention I may have to move the couch. He said okay. I don’t think he wanted to hear the details of what was involved any more than I felt like telling him how much was really going on.
So I got everyone out of the house, moved every single item out of our living room except the tv since it was mounted to the wall. All of our family photos came down, our couches were moved, and the rug was rolled up and removed. Then I had to set up these scenes all on my own. To give you an idea of what that’s like, imagine mounting curtain rods and curtains all by yourself. Possible, yes. Wise, not so much.
I got it all set up and invited my model family over. We were having a great time and it was going extraordinarily well, when near the end, God finally answered me.
I make a point to tell children what I’m going to do for the photo before I do it, so they are prepared. That’s when it happened. I looked at one of the little girls, Leighton. I had that feeling like the world was spinning around but my thoughts were in slow motion, my heart was skipping, and I was fighting the tears welling up in my eyes. I’m not sure how I managed to make myself speak or what Leighton was saying to me in that moment. I remember she looked very excited. Her eyes were sparkling, and she was looking at me with anticipation. I could hardly get the words out of my mouth.
What was happening before me had happened in a dream so long ago that I don’t even remember when I had it. It made zero sense to me. In the dream, I was looking at a little girl in a blue dress and said, “I’m going to blow this fan on you, and it may feel windy. Is that okay?” In the dream she looked at me, was excited and said okay. That was it. That was the dream. So simple, so odd at the time. I remember when I woke up wondering why would I ever do that? Why would I ask a little girl if I could let a fan blow on her? It made no sense to me, until it all made sense. In that moment, God finally answered me. The dream I had, and what was happening that day, was confirmation that I was doing the right thing. It felt as if I had asked and He said, “YES! Do this! This is exactly what I want you to do.” I remember wanting to stop the shoot, feel the compete joy in my heart, give her a hug and tell her thank you. I wanted a moment to celebrate that I had pushed through, and it was absolutely the right thing to do; that I could do these sessions and do them right in my own home.
Naturally I didn’t choose that course of action and I remember telling myself to snap out of it. We continued and no one knew a thing had happened. A big moment had taken place, but I kept it in my heart that day.
I needed a studio space. Every avenue I pursued was a dead end. A quitter would have just said forget it. Someone without passion for what they do would have thought, it’s not meant to be, this is too much trouble. I don’t have what I need. The list goes on.
That’s not who I am. I’m not a quitter. I’m a fighter. I can’t even count the times Apostle Watson says, “Use what you have until you get what you need.” It’s burned into my soul, drilled into my thoughts. Everything I have in my hands today; I will use and I will always do my best. After hours of set up, moving furniture, cleaning up and doing it all again on session days, I wouldn’t have it any other way. I don’t need a studio. I have faith and a house. That’s all I need.
I’m happy to announce that sessions sold out! I couldn’t be more excited than to see you all this year and provide beautiful images for you and your families.
Here are some photos of behind the scenes. Welcome to our home and I will see you soon!
P.S. If you want the heart of faith and the heart of a fighter but you need a little encouragement, wisdom and someone to help kick you into gear; I encourage you to listen to his broadcast. Here's a link to a recent session he did. I have shared the title he created. It's an honor to be able to grow under his leadership.
Final Results
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